I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
