dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
