You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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