So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
