her vagine was all disorganized.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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