Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Two words: nipple clamps
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