Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
