I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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