There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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