oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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