It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
