Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
