whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
