i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize