In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
