Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
