That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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