i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
