I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
