You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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