Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
