I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
