dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
