Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
