This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
