And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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