Porn is love you can see.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
