yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
