I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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