I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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