My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
