she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
