if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
