I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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