PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize