His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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