Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
