marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
