Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
