Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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