I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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