doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
