Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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