Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
