goodnight i made you a song goodbye
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
