Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
