i barfeds in our rink
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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