I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
