I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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