You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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