dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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