So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
