Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
