I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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