he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
