if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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