I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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