Life is so much better after having sex.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
