yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
