Non-Jews are for practice
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
