i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
