yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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